Sentence of Dave
The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
Dave Prevents a Race Riot With an Allusion to Mean Girls
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I was showing The Manchurian Candidate to my senior Composition class and I promised them a scene where Frank Sinatra does karate, and at s...
Bonus Sentence: The Lorax Needs to Write This Article
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Here is the Star Ledger article about the car chase that started on our street; apparently a local dude was caught with drugs that he was i...
Three Bands: Three Long Songs (with occasional breaks for profanity)
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The Stone Pony Summer Stage is a great place to see a concert: there's a beach breeze, it's not too loud, the shows begin early (doo...
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Blood, Knife, Tooth, Sink . . .
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Imagine seeing this vivid tableau soon after your son lost a tooth; you walk into the bathroom, and there's blood spattered on the white...
Can Duct Tape Really Fix Anything?
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Yesterday afternoon, a bit after six PM, Ian and Catherine heard a loud bang on our front lawn-- they were in the kitchen-- and so they ran ...
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We Can't Spare a Square
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The final message of Michael Tennesen's book The Next Species: The Future of Evolution in the Aftermath of Man is that humans are pr...
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Don't Mention This Hypothesis to My Wife (or do it when I'm not around)
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I'm not going to say this out loud, because summer vacation has just started-- which is awesome-- but the house does get disastrously me...
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There's a Fine Line Between Pedant and Douche-Bag
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For the past few years, I've been correcting certain people over the grammatically correct usage of lie/lay . . . not all people, just ...
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There's a Fine Line Between Stupid and Clever
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When my wife watches Christiano Ronaldo play, she always makes a comment about what a beautiful man he is, and I think that's fine; on t...
My Wife and Kids Outdo Me . . .
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The boys and I were quite proud of our short film A Day Without Mom , which we presented to Catherine on Mother's Day . . . but that...
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Not Quite a Dream (But Just as Stupid)
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Fans of Sentence of Dave know exactly how I feel about dreams (they are stupid and I don't want to hear about them, even if I was in t...
How to Be Interested in Politics . . .
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I've been listening to Dan Carlin's political podcast Common Sense and while each show is a detailed and logical look at a specifi...
Meta-Dinosaurs Fight Ghosts of Dinosaur Past
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For the most part Jurassic World operates as billed: plenty of dinosaurs, plenty of cheese, and plenty of eye-candy (i.e. Bryce Dallas H...
Rare Combination: Helium Balloons and Anger
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I turned from getting some cash at the Wells Fargo ATM and saw something wonderful stomp down the avenue: a woman in a denim skirt with an i...
Greasetruck Likes Food!
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After a series of barely tolerable songs about obtuse topics (time travel, the Olympic theme for snowboarders, psychedelia in the desert, ...
Hooray for Learning! Boo for Humans! Hooray! Boo!
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I am reading two books right now, and it's like riding a mental rollercoaster; one is called How We Learn: The Surprising Truth About Wh...
Mea Culpa?
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Martin Seligman, who wrote Learned Optimism , asserts that it is mentally healthier to sublimate rather than ruminate-- if you suffer a setb...
Governor Christie, Try Cracking One of Those Old-Fashioned Books Of Which You Speak
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Governor Christie makes some interesting claims in this video, including the opinion that teachers are "getting paid a full time ...
Pool Anxiety?
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My friend and colleague Kevin recently exhibited what I believe is a new mental disorder-- and not only did I identify this disorder, but I ...
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This One is For You, Ben Franklin
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Fellow English Instructor Kristyna was Appalled at the Lack of Capitalization in her Students' Essays -- her Students Claimed that unlik...
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