Sentence of Dave

The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)

To Infinity and Beyond

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While teaching is a fulfilling and generally entertaining job, there are scary moments of repetition that remind me of Matthew Broderick in ...

Two Roads Diverged in a Yellow Wood, and I Took the One With Traffic

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While I am driving, I see a lot of folks running alongside major roads -- roads with heavy traffic and no sidewalks -- and usually these roa...
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Good Answer! Good Answer! Survey Says: Stupid!

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Last weekend, I walked into New Brunswick with my wife and kids to get some dinner, and we stopped at the Wells Fargo ATM, and my son asked ...
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Soccer > Volleyball, Swimming and Musical Theater

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In the first days of school, I make a point to learn the names of my high school students and I also try to learn a thing or two about them ...
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More Basking and Awesomeness

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Some things are more awesome and miraculous than others -- and while this may not be quite as awesome and miraculous as my perfect punt, I t...
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Let's Continue to Bask in Dave's Awesomeness

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My incredible punt last week has propelled me to new levels of confidence and motivation, and so on Saturday I tackled two rather involved t...
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Let's Bask in Dave's Awesomeness

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For those of you that visit here solely because you relish Dave's awkwardness , failures , pedantry, and bombast , you might want to ...
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Worst Song Ever

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I'm pretty sure my friend and colleague Kevin is losing his mind; he forced me to watch the Miley Cyrus video for her song "Wreckin...
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The Most Annoying Thing I've Ever Said

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 Before the words left my mouth, I knew I was crossing into shallow and pedantic territory . . . but I said it anyway; my colleague Stacey...
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Another Shortcoming of Mine

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No matter how many times I say it to myself ( Shut the hose off when you leave! Make sure to shut the hose off! Don't leave the water on...
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Someone, Somewhere Is Doing the Counting

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My children asked me to officiate a race in which they ran across the yard (and back) while simultaneously hula-hooping -- but when I announ...

Where Are You, Past Dave?

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Our boss discovered a treasure trove of old photos in the English office; they were from 1999 and they were comprehensive in content: shots ...
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It's True! (Sort of)

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When my wife and I taught in Syria, we occasionally found it easier to claim we hailed from Canada, rather than the United States, especiall...
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Nostalgia For Stupidity

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My kids love to play twenty questions, despite the fact that they are rather poor at it, and whenever we play -- especially if they are doin...

I'd Pay to Hear the Rest

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I'm walking to New Brunswick, and I hear one of those snippets of conversation that I desperately want to hear more of . . . a fifty yea...

Building Character (and Breaking Child Labor Laws)

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I coached my first Highland Park J.V. soccer game of the season last Wednesday, and it was unseasonably hot and humid and, unfortunately, we...

I Loath to Sell Low, and I Loathe Buying High

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While the themes of this blog are often tangential and desultory, there is one thing that I always get right: the difference between "...
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Vince Lombardi Would Not Approve

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No sport is more abstract than soccer, and at the high school level there seems to be a preponderance of English teachers coaching it (a...
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This is a really long sentence for a dumb joke

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Geoffrey Canada's memoir and call to action Fist Stick Knife Gun is a vivid and intelligent account of life on the streets in the So...
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How to Merge in Jersey

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According to game theorists, the most efficient way to play "chicken" is to ostentatiously throw your steering wheel out th...
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