Sentence of Dave

The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)

Working Out vs. Work

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I could get the same amount of exercise digging the arbor vitae out of the ground along my back property line, but I'd rather go to the ...
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It's All Relative

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Watching my son Alex do "surf camp" in Sea Isle City last week was scary enough, so I can't even imagine how Garrett McNam...
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Some Balls (Metaphorically)

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Last week in Sea Isle City, while I was walking home with some take out food from McGowan's, a twenty-something blonde woman dressed in ...
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Slavery!

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Quentin Tarantino's Django Unchained may be a lot of things -- including gratuitously violent, profanely offensive, and way too long -- ...

Some Titles Are Literal and Some Titles Are Ironic

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They should tell you this at the start, but instead I learned far too late that the title of Edith Wharton's fin de siècle  novel of ...
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True (but boring) Confessions #6

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I don't ever floss, until it's three days before the dentist appointment (and I don't fool anyone).

True (but boring) Confessions #5

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Before I go coach my son's soccer team, I religiously put two pint glasses into the freezer.
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True (but boring) Confessions #4

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Sometimes I watch 30 Rock on Netflix without telling my wife, and then the next time we watch 30 Rock , I don't tell her that she's...
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True (but boring) Confessions #3

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Sometimes when I open my car door, I make contact with the car next to mine (and sometimes I even scratch their door . . . but I never tell ...
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True (but boring) Confessions #2

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Sometimes when I water the garden, I forget to shut the hose off.

One Hundred Years Ago, It Was Still Humid

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Although I can't relate to the parties that Gatsby threw in West Egg, or   the way the Gormers eschewed social conventions in Edith Whar...
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True (but boring) Confessions #1

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I haven't done a crossword puzzle in a LONG time.
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Two Moving Rocks Are Better Than One

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Two new songs from The World's Second Greatest Rock Band . . . one about community college and the other about  not getting to have a...
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Psychiatric Tales Are More Fun If There Are Pictures

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Darryl Cunnigham's eleven graphic stories about mental illness -- simply titled Psychiatric Tales -- is a terse and powerful reminder...

Obviously

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It's more fun to brush up on Richard Pryor, then it is to brush up on Espanol  (and I'm understanding a lot more of the content).
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Is This Genius or a Flaw?

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We are coming to the end of the BBC series  Top of the Lake  and some bad stuff is going down in the New Zealand bush, but the show takes...
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I Wish I Thought of This

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My friend Adam passed along this list of "28 "Favorite" Books That Are Huge Red Flags" and I find it accurate, funny, a...
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Gas is Funny

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I was listening to the news on NPR, and when Soterios Johnson explained that the  NYPD released some harmless gas into the subway system  it...

My Summer To-Do List

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Here are some of the things I want to accomplish this summer -- and I think if I complete half of them, I'll be quite proud: 1) Brush ...
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Would You Rather (a Transcript of the Dumbest Dialogue Ever Held by Cognizant, Literate Human Beings)

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We are eating dinner, and my eight year old son Ian says to me: "Would you rather get baked in an oven or eaten by a donut?" an...
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