Sentence of Dave

The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)

Unreliable Blogger

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Yesterday's sentence was a complete fabrication: we weren't out of eggs, I never went to the grocery store, and no toddler licked t...
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Do The Back of My Knees Look Like They Are Covered With Germs?

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Yesterday morning, while waiting on line at the grocery store (it's summer vacation-- now when we're out of eggs, I don't settle...
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It Is Chaos

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Mayhem in the kiddie pool on Friday: Alex and his friends were racing around playing some violent game, and at one point Alex yelled "...

Dave Tries to Be Friendly

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They had a nice spread of donuts and bagels for us at the year end high school meeting, and among the food was a quiche in a glass dish, so ...

Maybe I Should Wear a Cup at Night?

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Rolled onto my right testicle while I was sleeping again-- and feeling like you took a knee in the crotch is no way to start the day.
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Moral Wormhole

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My four year old son's refusal to use worms as bait "because they are good for the soil and they are alive" has made me take a...
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Greasetruck conquers all!

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Greasetruck 's new song, "The Bear," is an incredible musical accomplishment because not only is it the greatest rock song of ...
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A Little Shadenfreude Saves the Day

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Our anniversary day in New York City started well, but then the Mexican restaurateurs got their revenge on me: we ate at a great Thai place...
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Bowling and Vietnam: Both Are Better To Read About (Than Experience)

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I'm finally getting deep into the shit of Denis Johnson's Vietnam novel Tree of Smoke , and along the way I ran across a fantastic s...

Snakes > Fish

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Wednesday was not so great for fishing-- we caught one measly sunfish-- but it was a great day for snaking, perhaps because it was sunny but...

The Inevitability of Microbes

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Between the boil water advisory (there was some kind of main break) and the Swine flu, Middlesex County is starting to remind me of our days...
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Too Much Surfing, Not That Wise

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Surfwise , a documentary chronicling the gnarly exploits of the Paskowitz family, takes a predictable turn-- Dr. Paskowitz gives up his stra...
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Dave is Not an Actor

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You can only fake it so much: on three consecutive days, Catherine has shared the same piece of confidential information with me-- each time...

6/18/2009

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There goes our platinum credit rating: apparently a 0.0 APR credit card doesn't mean you don't have any payments, there is still a ...
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Caster Disaster

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I hate it when I pile seventy copies of Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man onto my wheeled chair so I can roll it down the hall, into t...
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6/16/2009

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The day after Ian's chaotic, rainy birthday party, I got the award for worst neighbor on the block-- but what could I do?-- I had to ret...
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6/15/2009

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Technology has ruined us: on our camping trip, Alex, Ian and I sat and meditatively watched the fire transform from a smoldering pile of wo...

6/14/2009

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While I was pushing my kids in the stroller, they independently developed the "I Crush Your Head" game-- made infamous by the Kids...

6/13/2009

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Although my sample size is only two, I'm concluding that (despite the current wisdom) depriving your children of TV and video-games actu...

6/12/2009

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One thing is for certain: I would make a great detective . . . let me give you an example: on Wednesday, June 10th at 12;55 PM, I walked in...
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