Sentence of Dave

The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)

Greek Myth = Wet Kids

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I thought reading the kids some Greek myths would be at worst innocuous (and a bit boring) and at best a nice basis in the most common allus...

Stress at the Stress Factory

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Sometimes the comedy club isn't funny-- like when the table next to you can't stop chatting and you ask them repeatedly to please be...

My Son the Half-Assed Telepath

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My four year old son Alex told me that "in school you have to say everything out loud, you can't just talk in your brain, because t...
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Words Are Worth 1000 Pictures

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Yesterday, Catherine and I went to our first Back-to-School Night, and Alex's classroom had pictures the students drew on the walls and ...

Football Conquers Chores

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Whenever you have a lot of chores to do, and you've been sitting on your ass all afternoon watching football because you're sore fro...

Prepositional Ponderings

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This has been bothering me: Vincent Chase is the star on "Entourage," but I don't think he's the star of "Entourag...
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Roslin > Palin

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I was going to continue in the political vein with a sentence about the Sarah Palin/Laura Roslin  Battlestar Galactica analogy -- Palin does...
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I Go Off on a Tangent (About the Propriety of a Name)

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Sarah Palin's children are named Track, Willow, Bristol, Piper, and Trig; Trig is her child with Down Syndrome . . . and the condition ...
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Ring the Bells, Let It Be Known: Dave Fixed the Toilet

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Let it be known: yesterday-- Sunday the twenty first of September . . . the first day of autumn-- I FIXED THE TOILET; I replaced the fill ...

I Wear Bad Idea Jeans

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Another bad decision in a long line of them: during our 8th grade soccer pre-game warm up (and I feel that it's crucial to have a crisp...

Circular Logic

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My ninth grade math teacher said if you drew a perfect circle free-hand, then you would immediately go completely and irrevocably insane-- ...
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What Not to Say to My Wife

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My wife got placed on the jury of a criminal case, and while she's not thrilled because she has to miss work (and she has to go to court...
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George Bush and My Wife Battle Rude Shoe-Throwers

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People can be so rude . . . or so my wife tells me-- people aren't usually rude to me, but they are constantly being rude to my wife-- f...

Hermit Crab, I Name Thee Lazarus!

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A miraculous resurrection in our house-- and we're not even near Easter; Catherine threw away the corpse of our pet hermit crab two week...

Dave Feels Lucky (But Not THAT Lucky)

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After having a bad day Saturday (high fever, constricted throat, tonsillitis, car accident that was pretty much completely my fault) I had a...
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Kids . . . It Would Be Convenient If They Were All the Same Size

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Catherine explained to me in so many words that my household chore contributions of late have consisted of playing the guitar and reading ( ...
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Sick is No Way to Drive

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If you need a doctor on a Saturday, you're better off living in a third world country; I went to PromptCare on Easton Avenue, and I am ...
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Dave Sharpens His Axe

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Wednesday, in the English office, because of a challenge, I bounced the giant-liquid and glitter-filled super-ball off the floor, off the w...

Dave Could Be a Middle School Soccer Star . . . If He Wasn't Thirty-Eight

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I know I shouldn't be proud of this (but of course I am); at eighth grade soccer try-outs I timed the kids in a typical dribbling and s...

Not Eating Candy = The Terrorists Win

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On a day as tragically infamous as this one, it is important to remember things you love, but often forget about, such as:  1) Guidance day...
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