The Required Amount at the Prescribed Rate (Handcrafted From the Finest Corinthian Leather)
I Think Dane Cook Is Funny
The other day in the office, the very funny but slightly obsessive guy  who always calls into  radio stations and wins tickets every week and  then sell them and uses the money to  buy authentic Battlestar  Galactica paraphernalia on eBay (you have a guy  like this in  your work place right?) said he had a pair of Dane Cook  tickets to  sell, and when I expressed interest because my wife and I  both think  he's funny, I took some flak for liking Dane Cook--  apparently people  who think they are hip don't  like Dane Cook, they think he is "obvious"  and "just in it for the  attention" and "not very clever" and since I  wasn't all that familiar  with him, I had just heard some of his famous  bits (car alarm, Kool-Aid  guy, public restrooms, etc.) I did some  research and listened to his  new album (Isolated Incident)  and his takes  on race, suicide, masturbation, porn, and Obama all made  me laugh, so  maybe I am obvious, not very clever, and just in it for  the attention as well.
You're also fucking lazy. You posted this entire bit last week on Gheorghe. There have been fewer letdowns at the Sentence of Dave bigger than this for me. For the first time ever, I come to the blog before 7 am and I'm thinking, like a kid making the first footprints in a new snowfall, my eyes would be the first to peruse the new sentence. And then it's a tired old sentence, and not even a particularly good one, and now I feel like your fellow teachers who come here and read all about the same shit you talk about all day long between classes, driving them up a wall, and it's like that fresh snowfall wasn't snow at all, but bird crap, and my footprints are in it first but that just means I'm the first one to have to wash his shoes this morning. Thanks for nothing.
ReplyDeletei'd like to reiterate what he said.
ReplyDeletewhen i was writing new sentences i drank less.
ReplyDeleteaaaand...scene
ReplyDelete