Dave Votes For Burnt Up Bugs
Yesterday morning at school, I noticed that the hallways and cafeteria smelled weird (and if I noticed it smelled weird, then it really did smell weird-- because I have no sense of smell) and though I noticed the weird smell, instead of alerting the authorities, I went around and asked random students if they thought it smelled weird . . . and they all agreed that it did indeed smell weird (one kid insightfully and precisely described the smell as "inside a hair salon") and then, right when I had settled in at my duty in the weird smelling cafeteria, the fire alarm went off and we all evacuated the building and the fire department came and inspected things-- at first people suspected a gas leak, but I also heard someone say that it might be dead animals, and my favorite theory, which was presented as definitive by a teacher who shall remain nameless (because I don't know her name) was that the odor was caused by "burnt up bugs in the radiators," which was patently false, but incredibly evocative nonetheless-- something right out of Snowpiercer-- but the truth turned out to be fairly mundane: a battery was left on a charger for too long, and started to burn up (the only mildly interesting thing I heard about the cause of the smell-- and this is hearsay-- was that the battery was for a Harley Davidson).