A Review of Dave's Most Ubiquitous Wardrobe Malfunctions

Lately I've noticed that if I don't wear a belt, then my pants fall down-- this was never a problem for me until recently and I'm not sure why it's happening now, but it's not the kind of thing you can ponder, it's the kind of thing you have to address-- and I'm dealing with this on top of my other clothing problems, which I've gone over in previous posts, but I'll list them all here for your convenience:

1) my neck is too thick to comfortably wear a dress shirt or a tie;

2) I can't wear a hooded rain jacket unless I wear a hat;

3) scarves perplex me;

4) duck boots pull my socks down;

5) I tear apart a lot of socks

6) I need to tuck my sweatpants into my socks when I ride a bike;

7) in general, socks suck.


zman said...

You should try buying a dress shirt with a larger neck opening. The first number on the label corresponds to the neck size. If you go to the store a salesperson will even measure your neck (and arm length!) for free (!) and help you get shirts that fit.

Clarence said...

I'm an 18/37

Dave said...

the neck-hole would have to be wider than the shirt, which is a physical paradox that would open a wormhole that would swallow the universe. i wear golf shirts instead.

rob said...

18/37! freak.

and buy some ankle socks for use with athletic shoes, other freak. solves a lot of your problems.

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