Let Them Eat Two Pieces of Cake

I'm hoping my wife skips this sentence, because I don't want her to revisit this event and the emotions surrounding it, but I'd like to make a full confession to my readers, for the sake of honest self-reflection; last Tuesday, after a very cold and windy soccer practice, I got home, ate some dinner, and then noticed that there was some leftover chocolate cake on the counter (my grandmother ate dinner with us the previous night and she baked a chocolate cake) and it was very cold and windy at soccer practice, so I had really worked up an appetite and I saw the cake -- two pieces of cake-- and without really thinking, I ate both of them . . . then I sat down to watch some TV with my wife, and when I got up to get a drink, she said "Can you get me a piece of cake?" and I turned and said, "Uh, there isn't any more cake . . . I ate the last piece" and she said, "There were two pieces! And I told you to save one for me!" and, though I didn't hear her say this, apparently she did indeed ask me to save her some cake (she roused Alex out of bed to confirm) and it didn't really matter if I heard her or not because -- as she pointed out-- there were TWO pieces of cake, one for each of us-- and she also didn't buy my story that the cake was dry and she wouldn't have liked it anyway and I did her a favor by getting rid of it, because she had eaten a piece the night before and knew the cake was delicious . . . and the event became a metaphor for my entire self-centered existence and I had to buy her some good chocolate from the expensive chocolate store to make up for my transgression, and then -- the icing on the cake-- the  next day in Creative Writing class, purely by coincidence, we read the William Carlos Williams poem "This Is Just to Say" and I had a perfect anecdote for my class (but it wasn't worth the lambasting . . . next time, I'll leave a piece of cake . . . I swear).

5 comments:

zman said...

I am of the view that if someone leaves delicious food sitting around with the expectation that some portion of it must be saved for their benefit, it is incumbent upon them to make said saving clear to everyone else who lives with them, otherwise they risk losing out. I make no apologies for this stance, although it got me into trouble when my wife was pregnant and craving chocolate Dunkin Donuts munchkins and I had already eaten all the chocolate ones (and jelly ones too) leaving only the powdery white ones which she said "are no good" to which I replied "then why the hell did you buy them" which was not the right answer, especially when speaking to a hungry pregnant woman. This incident is still revisited from time to time.

Dave said...

damn-- i hope cat forgets about this incident, but it's probably not going to happen.

anecdotal comment of the year!

Clarence said...

Time traveling back to yesterday's sentence: I thought you might mention that I used to tell people you got engaged every April Fools and people fell for it every year. Or you might mention the statistical improbability of getting two songs right in a row in the disc game but one of us did but alas, all those words and no love for this guy.

Clarence said...

...because your blog is all about me

Dave said...

there's always next year . . . it's crazy that people actually fell for that engaged gag . . .

A New Sentence Every Day, Hand Crafted from the Finest Corinthian Leather.