Dave Has a Miraculous Post-Christmas Vision!

When your mind strays outside the established box-walls, then you will certainly suffer disdain and criticism, even from those who profess to love you . . . but you must carry on, bravely,  faithfully, into the pale; so let it be know that upon the 26th day of the twelfth month of the Year, 2014, the day after the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ (or maybe not, but that's a whole other historical conundrum) I was delivered a post-Christmas vision in the form of a mini-van packing strategy: instead of building upwards in the back section of the van, the way I would normally stacketh our belongings, leaving a small "cavern" for the dog-- instead of this precarious and vision-obstructive pile of luggage, I would buildeth horizontally and create a "floor" of luggage, coolers, equipment, instruments, and victuals and I would layeth the dog's bed and a blanket on this "floor" of stuff and then the dog would have much space in which  to cavort and frolic and the driver would also be able to see out the rear of the van . . . and when I announced this vision to my wife, she said unto me, "I don't want the dog lying on my bag!" and I pronounced to her that I would bury her bag deep in the "floor" of mine own construction, under a blanket so that our dog would not lieth on her bag (despite the fact that our dog is liething all over everything in our house) but then when she saw my handiwork, she pronounced it good and renounced her doubt in my vision (for this particular incident) and the family did rejoice (until we were fifteen minutes down the road and my wife announced she forgot her sunglasses, so we had to turn around and get them . . . which raises an interesting philosophical question: how far down the road do you have to go before you don't turn around and go back for sunglasses?)

7 comments:

rob said...

so you had a vision in which the car-packing strategy of everyone else on the planet was revealed unto you? this god of yours is surely merciful and great. and has an excellent sense of humor.

Al DePantsdowno said...

As long as I'm still on my street I will turn back. Unless they are prescription. Then I will go as far as the first traffic light. I always keep an extra pair of sunglasses in my car so I never have to turn back for me...

Clarence said...

If my wife forgot them, I will turn back no matter where we are so she can feel every meter of her mistake.

If I forgot them, I will mutter cuss words and then wear hers.

Clarence said...

And I never thought I would read "buildeth" on this blog. My year is complete.

zman said...

How much shit do you carry around with you that you need a strategy to pack it all?

Dave said...

my wife also forgot the ipad at a restaurant! we had to drive back twenty minutes-- it was awesome, i was reveling in it.

zman, when you do a snowboarding trip after xmas to a house in vermont, you bring EVERYTHING, including a saxophone.

Dave said...

and f- you rob, for not sharing your packing strategy.

A New Sentence Every Day, Hand Crafted from the Finest Corinthian Leather.