Check HER Out


Last week, while I was working out at the North Brunswick LA Fitness, I caught a glimpse of an attractive and curvy blonde girl walking through the main entrance -- and, of course, I ogled her . . . because that's the main motivation for going to the gym, rather than doing push-ups and sit-ups in your living room: you can check out members of the opposite sex (or the same sex, if that's what floats your boat) and they might be wearing spandex and a sports bra . . . but the North Brunswick LA Fitness has a dearth of good looking ladies (especially at the times I go to the gym . . . early Sunday morning and three in the afternoon . . . I am mainly scoping out retirees) so you really have to be vigilant to catch a glance at anything worthwhile . . . anyway, when I took a second glance at the attractive woman, who was weaving her way through the various weight machines, right towards me, I realized that I had been ogling my own wife (and when I told her this, she took it as a compliment).

8 comments:

zman said...

This is a great sentence! I was ready to comment something like "Doesn't your wife read this blog?" until I read the ending. Once every few months I find a gem like this sprinkled in among the horseshit you call sentences. Thanks Dave.

Dave said...

wow, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my blog.

rob said...

what did you do that you had to write this sentence to get out of the doghouse?

Dave said...

this sentence was unsolicited and 100 percent true, like all the content on this blog and everything else i have ever said in my entire life.

John Lecky said...

you should go on Ellen and tell this story

Clarence said...

Has nobody mentioned that this, generally speaking, is the exact premise of "Escape (The PiƱa Colada) Song" by Rupert Holmes in 1979?? Isn't there a great chance that Dave heard that song on the radio at the gym and repurposed its content into a sentence for which he'd get kudos from peers and the missus alike? I don't doubt for a minute that he would do it.

Also, dave, thanks for not replying whatsoever to the nicest thing I've ever said to you in a comment like a month ago but calling a comment that identifies your sentences as horseshit "the nicest thing anyone has ever said about my blog. Rat bastard.

Dave said...

i was being sarcastic, clarence. i have a hard time reacting to actual compliments because i'm emotionally stunted. also, i was just talking about "the pina colada song" in class the other day, but i swear to you that this story is true.

zman said...

For the record, I don't really think Dave's sentences are horseshit, I just felt weird complementing him on this sentence. But it really is a good sentence -- it has a clear beginning middle and end, a salient aside, a plot twist, and it doesn't feel like three sentences forced together.

A New Sentence Every Day, Hand Crafted from the Finest Corinthian Leather.