Lesson One: How To Look Cool in Front of The Young Folks
At LA Fitness, in order to procure a basketball from the front desk, you must provide some collateral-- I usually give the girl my keys-- but on Saturday morning my keys were locked in a locker, and so all I had to provide her with was my iPod and giant headphones . . . later, when I returned the basketball, I asked her for my "Walkman and headphones" and then I had to correct myself and say, "I meant my iPod" and I excused this faux pas by explaining to her that I was from the 1980's-- which is kind of like explaining to someone that you're from Lithuania-- and so she handed me my iPod back and said, "This is definitely an iPod," the way you might speak to a senile old man, which is what I am quickly becoming.