My Greatest Contribution to Western Culture


Edison had his light-bulb, the Wright brothers their aeroplane, and Ben Franklin his eponymous stove . . . but I don't think I will ever invent anything tangible . . . although I HAVE invented something incredibly useful, but it is a concept, not a thing: my invention is a dinner-time mind-trick called the "don't eat it" game; when you want your kids to eat something, you simply point at the item and say, very seriously, "Do NOT eat those green beans, especially not those three-- those are mine and I don't want you to eat them" and then you go back to eating your meal, and inevitably, the child will take the green beans you pointed at, steal a glance, make a devilish face, and then scarf them down . . . because it's fun to disobey; the funny thing is, now my kids know the trick, but they often still insist that I do it just because they enjoy it so much, and they eat so much faster if we play-- even though they know they are being manipulated; I know my creation isn't as valuable as the polio vaccine or the internal combustion engine, but it has caused me more happiness than either of those inventions . . . plus it's portable and very cheap to manufacture.

5 comments:

Al DePantsdowno said...

I almost commented on this entry. You really are tricky.

rob said...

after sentence boy and his family dined at my house a year or so ago, my children too became enamored of the game. i've franchised the concept in my home. i suppose i owe dave a rights fee of some sort. beer at tortuga's on me in july, dave.

Anonymous said...

I was going to post a meta-comment but Al already beat me to it

Dave said...

i'm hoping the game goes viral, and then someday they trace its roots back my humble little blog.

celine said...

can i get the title of your parenting book? because we tried this technique and he totally went for it complete with giggles.

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