Each and every school day, my wife makes lunch for the boys and me: these lunches are generally healthy, delicious, and various, and I am the envy of all my colleagues; this is no easy task, and while she is counting down the days to summer-- when she finally gets a break from the early morning prep routine-- she is finishing the year strong; yesterday she prepared an especially elaborate cooler of food for me to consumer over the course of the day . . . there was hummus and snap peas (fresh from her garden) for snack, along with a container of cherries, and then for the main dish, a taco salad with fresh beets and greens-- along with all the accoutrements . . . grated cheese and salsa and taco meat, all in their own
separate containers; in fact, there were so many different plastic containers that once I finished my meal, I couldn't figure out how to get them back inside my compartmentalized lunch cooler-- there was absolutely no way to fit them all, it was like a clown car . . . seven containers and two ice packs popped out but there was no way they were all getting back inside; I called my boss from her office and told her I would be unable to teach for the rest of the day, as the problem looked insoluble, but she wasn't particularly moved by my dilemma-- she told me to go find a math teacher to help me-- but after much persistent wedging and shoving, I finally got them all back inside and transported them back home so my wife could do it all over again . . . and I'd like to dedicate this sentence to my wife and her lunches (we just had our 19 year anniversary, so she's been doing this for a LONG time).
5 comments:
the genius of this post is that dave is ostensibly praising his wife, but in reality his primary aim is to keep the bar lowered with respect to expectations on him to function in society. kudos to you, my man.
Why didn’t you just meet the empty containers?
I think anyone who interacts with Dave for more than 15 minutes automatically lowers the bar for their expectations of his social functionality.
“Meet” should be “nest.” Autocorrect sucks.
The ice packs should also be nested. I’m sure Dave did not want the ice packs to get food remnants on them not realizing that they are plastic and easily washed.
i tried a bit of nesting, but couldn't close lids, and marls is exactly correct-- i'm a bit demure when it comes to moist food particles touching stuff . . . it didn't even cross my mind to stick the ice packs inside the tupperware. i should have you guys around as consultants, like all the time.
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