Breaking (Peanut Butter) News!


After my friend and podcasting partner Stacey read my candid peanut butter based confession, she went and checked her cupboard and she found five open containers of peanut butter-- check out the photo-- and although only one jar was completely empty (in comparison to the three jars I had emptied) she attributes that to the fact that she does the grocery shopping and when she thinks some of the jars are getting low, then she simply buys a fresh one . . . she cites the same reason as me for this irresponsible and wasteful behavior: she doesn't like to scrape out the jar because you inevitably get peanut butter on your hands . . . it's so much more fun to take a scoop from the smooth buttery surface of a freshly opened jar; after some discussion, we decided we're not horrible people (though our respective spouses might think otherwise) and there either needs to be a tool that can efficiently scrape a peanut-butter jar or-- and this would be even better-- peanut butter should be sold in squat truncated-cone shaped containers, which would be much easier to scrape with standard cutlery (perhaps this is a big peanut butter conspiracy, and the containers are shaped this way so people buy far more jars than they need . . . because so much peanut butter is in an "overhang" state in nearly empty jars, cached in cupboards across the nation).

9 comments:

zman said...

Maybe something like this?

https://patents.google.com/patent/US20150014365A1/en?oq=20150014365

Johnny G said...

Dave,
Let me enlighten you....PLASTIC SPATULA = No wasting food and no peanut butter on fingers. BOOM!

Whitney said...

Comment of 2018.

Dave said...

the plastic spatula is a little bendy.

i think it's more complicated than that. maybe peanut butter should come in ten individual inch deep rings that stack up to make a jar shape, each ring separately sealed so you can have that smooth virginal experience every time you open and scoop from a new ring.

Dave said...

BOOM!

rob said...

this is what brings johnny to the yard?

zman said...

Dave's milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.

Dave said...

i'm going to leave that one be.

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