Dave Embraces the Future

In honor of finally finishing Why the West Rules-- for Now: The Patterns of History, and What They Reveal About the Future, a monstrous tome of massive erudition by Ian Morris that I purchased over two years ago on my Kindle, I embraced the culture that will probably supersede our own (if there's not a nuclear apocalypse first) and after a truly epic Sunday-- I played pick-up soccer in the morning, then built a gate for our fence, then coached a soccer game, then went kayaking in a tiny kayak that I barely fit into and which spun in circles if I didn't paddle with perfect synchronicity (difficult to do while drinking a beer) then switched out of the aforementioned kayak because my legs were cramping up inside the tiny hull, and attempted to stand-up on a very small paddle board, designed for folks 150 pounds or less, toppled into Farrington Lake several times, finally got my balance and stood up and slowly paddled it back to the put in, navigating a stiff breeze with the tail end of the paddle board underwater-- so when I got home I was cold and wet and really really hungry and Cat and I decided to go to Chef Tan, the fairly new upscale authentic Chinese place right in town, so I could scarf some food down; we've been several times before and so we got some of our favorites: the Dan Dan noodles-- which come in a spicy peanut sauce with minced pork; the scallion pancakes; the dumplings-- homemade and crispy; and then we decided to try something new . . . Minced Pork with Mustard Greens, a heaping plate of chopped greens and tender lean pork chunks, but very spicy, just loaded with chopped skinny red hot peppers, and Catherine ate a reasonable amount and then waved the white flag and admitted defeat but I was really hungry-- I had an epic day!-- so I soldiered on, until my lips were numb and my nose was running and I couldn't take another bite . . . but it was so tasty and there was that weird amount left on the plate-- too little to take home but too much to leave-- so I finished it . . . and my stomach was pretty beat up this morning, along with the rest of my body because of my epic Sunday, and so I decided to go to the Chinese massage place in town, where I had once told the proprietress that "strong" was fine, and so now every time I go there, she does it a little stronger, and I'm not sure if this is authentic and I'm embracing the culture, or if the chef at Chef Tan and this lady are just giving me a taste of future Chinese domination, but either way, I'm preparing myself.

4 comments:

zman said...

Ian Morris, as in The Poet? Was the Chinese food as spicy as your "hot hot hot caliente!!" tequila? Just how much of the masseuse's domination did you taste?

Questions of zman.

Dave said...

i decided not to do any ian morris references-- to keep from confusing most of the audience-- and the food was similar in spice to the spicy tequila (which also beat up my stomach . . . i'm getting old) and the masseuse pretty much made me cry.

Whitney said...

Can I assume that your hyperbolic overuse of the word "epic" is to beat it into the ground so much that the high school kids stop using the word? Three times in this post. For a guy who has probably read more epics -- or truly epic works of literature -- than anyone I know, your Sunday seems to fall into the standard fare of modern usage of the word epic, like when a taco tastes great or when you slip and fall down 5 or 6 stairs.

Dave said...

i think you missed some details: i BUILT a gate for my fence. with a saw and hinges and stuff. after i played soccer. epic!

A New Sentence Every Day, Hand Crafted from the Finest Corinthian Leather.