Don't Worry About That . . . Worry About This

Though the recent Amtrak derailment was an awful and tragic event, it's not something you should worry about . . . in fact, there's a school of thought that say that anything that you hear about on the news isn't something that you should worry about-- abductions and drive-by shootings and gas explosions and lead poisoning and looting and bear attacks-- because if it's in the news, then it is probably rare and unusual, and thus news . . . so what you need to worry about the things that aren't on the news-- like gum disease and kidney stones-- and it's much more difficult to worry about things that aren't on the news, so perhaps it's best not to worry about anything at all.

4 comments:

zman said...

Can you please call my mother-in-law and read this sentence to her?

rob said...

i'm worried about zman's mother in law.

zman said...

Here's a real exchange I had a few weeks ago.

-zcell rings.

zman: Hello?
zmil: There's a tornado warning in your town!!
zman: Yes, I saw that, it's crazy. We're all inside so don't worry.
zmil: Be careful!
zman: Yes, we're inside.
zmil: Well be careful!
zman: We're inside, I don't know what more I can do to avoid a tornado.
zmil: Well don't let the kids outside by themselves.
zman: I won't, I promise.

Note that zkids are ages 4 and 13 months so I never let them outside alone even in perfect weather.

Catpell said...

i wonder if i could expand my market by having a service where i call people and read them appropriate sentences? sort of like a singing telegram without the singing . . .

zman, i feel you should do a video for the above exchange, with you playing both roles.

A New Sentence Every Day, Hand Crafted from the Finest Corinthian Leather.