Don't Worry About That . . . Worry About This

Though the recent Amtrak derailment was an awful and tragic event, it's not something you should worry about . . . in fact, there's a school of thought that say that anything that you hear about on the news isn't something that you should worry about-- abductions and drive-by shootings and gas explosions and lead poisoning and looting and bear attacks-- because if it's in the news, then it is probably rare and unusual, and thus news . . . so what you need to worry about the things that aren't on the news-- like gum disease and kidney stones-- and it's much more difficult to worry about things that aren't on the news, so perhaps it's best not to worry about anything at all.


zman said...

Can you please call my mother-in-law and read this sentence to her?

rob said...

i'm worried about zman's mother in law.

zman said...

Here's a real exchange I had a few weeks ago.

-zcell rings.

zman: Hello?
zmil: There's a tornado warning in your town!!
zman: Yes, I saw that, it's crazy. We're all inside so don't worry.
zmil: Be careful!
zman: Yes, we're inside.
zmil: Well be careful!
zman: We're inside, I don't know what more I can do to avoid a tornado.
zmil: Well don't let the kids outside by themselves.
zman: I won't, I promise.

Note that zkids are ages 4 and 13 months so I never let them outside alone even in perfect weather.

Catpell said...

i wonder if i could expand my market by having a service where i call people and read them appropriate sentences? sort of like a singing telegram without the singing . . .

zman, i feel you should do a video for the above exchange, with you playing both roles.

A New Sentence Every Day, Hand Crafted from the Finest Corinthian Leather.