We'll Never Get to the Bottom of This One

My eight year old son Ian, who we regard as slightly shifty, woke up the other morning with chocolate on his face . . . but he didn't have any chocolate for dessert the night before, and so the only explanation is that he has a hidden cache of chocolate in his room, and that he ate some of it after he went to bed -- but I searched his room thoroughly and couldn't find anything (though we have found secret troves of candy in his room before, and so I had probably cause to conduct this search) and Ian insists that he didn't have any secret chocolate before bed . . . though he did bring up the possibility that he may have ate some chocolate while sleep-walking, and while I don't believe this for one bit, Ian is a tough nut to crack, and I don't feel like breaking out the water-board, and so we're just going to chalk this one up to poor detective work on our part and concede that we will never know the truth.

11 comments:

zman said...

Look behind the Rita Hayworth poster.

Clarence said...

Raquel Welch.

Clarence said...

Wait, Ian is clever enough to fool his parents, he's "shifty" and sneaky and dodgy and all that, but it never occurred to him to maybe wipe his face?

Clarence said...

Also, your comment on Gheorghe reminded me of that great Lecky tambourine story, that's worth a Sentence. The explanation to the ER folks alone makes me chuckle.

zman said...

I'm pretty sure it was Rita Hayworth in the book, and this is SOD so I figured I should reference the book instead of the movie.

Dave said...

i don't remember the details of the explanation . . . please provide them.

Clarence said...

It was Rita Hayworth at the start, but he was in the cell for many years, and over time he changed posters.

Conman said...

Did you check that it was really Chocolate?

Dave said...

not that one -- the cult tambourine emergency room explanation. i vaguely remember being in the emergency room, but not what lecky said . . .

and we did not check, so maybe there's a scatological explanation.

Clarence said...

Eh, just that someone bothered to explain that Ian Astbury had tossed a tambourine into the crowd and that everyone went for it and Lecky had grabbed it among 5 others and then some dude punched his fist through it and the guy was wearing a jean jacket and ripped away the tambourine with his denim covered crook of his arm and everyone holding it then had fingers with lacerations and you guys were intermittently calling Ian Astbury the biggest moron in rock and roll and the baddest ass ever because he must've known what would happen and he did it anyway and it was all over a tambourine, the sissiest instrument ever, but the guys who had grabbed it were all grubby guidos and pretty boy greasers like Lecky. I was laughing really hard in the ER lobby.

Dave said...

that's awesome -- i don't remember actually telling the ER folks what happened, but i do remember the dude with the jean jacket sticking his arm through, a good move, in retrospect, but it seemed like cheating back then.

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