I Don't Want to Dress Like a Holiday

I usually wait a few days to write about current events -- I like to detach myself and let my thoughts solidify -- but I'm going to tackle this one while the iron is hot; yesterday, three people told me that I needed to "dress like a holiday" next Friday, as part of some school-spirit competition that pits the different departments against one another . . . and while I gamely wore a green shirt last month (although I was still chastised because I didn't score the maximum five points, which would have entailed wearing FIVE green items) I really don't like dressing out of the ordinary, nor do I like celebrating holidays, and so I was going to quietly avoid participating in this part of the competition -- but there is a sign-up sheet in the English office, and apparently people have been reading it closely, and these people noticed that I didn't select a holidays . . . and I sometimes have a hard time judging if these people are actually angry at me, or just joking around -- but one teacher said that "it wasn't fair" and she was going to "tell the school secretary to remove me from the department" and then she left the room before I could figure out if this was real or feigned anger, and now I'm in that weird spot where I might have to not "dress like a holiday" out of principle . . . because I would never force anyone, against their will, to dress like Kwanza or Flag Day or Boxing Day (just a few of the holidays left from which I might choose) and while I should just placidly suck-it-up and dress like something easy, such as Father's Day, there's a part of me that feels like we shouldn't win this competition anyway, since it's not skill based (if it was inter-department corn-hole, I'd be as ardent as they come) and I really wish this entire contest would evaporate and I could just go back to teaching Shakespeare (but not dressing like him . . . as that's always weird and awkward when the teacher comes to school dressed as the historical figure that you are studying).

12 comments:

zman said...

I didn't realize that you teach at Chotchkie's and have to wear a minimum of 15 pieces of flair. Is this part of No Child Left Behind?

kevy said...

Dave says, "I dont like dressing out of the ordinary." Hmm, dave. Really? Have you looked in a mirror?

zman said...

If you are forced into selecting Talk Like a Pirate Day for your holiday you'll have a great opportunity to say "I don't wanna be a pirate!"

Marls said...

Just get a pair of the "Rexquando" zubaz pants and go as flag day. Frankly, in New Jersey that won't even look strange.

zman said...

You should show up in drag and say you're Billie Holiday.

Dave said...

those are all good plans, except that i don't like to dress out of the ordinary. what if i just talk in a raspy voice and claim i'm billie holiday.

Squeaky said...

Pick Festivus that way you can show up in either your normal clothes or a wrestling singlet. The latter being the creepier choice.

zman said...

Dress like Lloyd Christmas.

Clarence said...

Ooh, that's good.

Dave said...

used a dumb and dumber clip in class today -- perfect counterpoint for sebastian's decision in 12th night.

Clarence said...

Explain.

Dave said...

i'll do it in a sentence.

A New Sentence Every Day, Hand Crafted from the Finest Corinthian Leather.