Awkward Dave is on an Awkward Roll . . .

Terry, Mike and I were having a literary discussion in the English office about The Catcher in the Rye, and I said that one of the lessons that Holden has to learn in the novel is that things can't stay the same forever-- Holden wants to catch all the children running in the rye and save them from falling over the cliff of adulthood, which he equates with corruption . . . he wants put everything in a museum -- behind glass-- and, of course, this just isn't possible . . . he struggles most about his sister growing up, that she might eventually have sexual desires like Sunny the prostitute and he's also crushed that Jane Gallagher -- the pure and innocent girl that he platonically loves -- also has sexual desires and goes on a date with the studly Stradlater . . . and it was just the guys in the office and so I expressed this idea very succinctly . . . I said: "Holden has to learn that girls want to get out there and bang people too!" and -- Murphy' Law -- just as I said this the student teacher -- who is young and sweet and female -- walked into the room, and gave me an odd look, and so instead of just letting the comment hang there . . . which was awkward enough, I made the situation even more awkward by turning to her and saying, "Right?" and so now I had put her on the spot and she had to reply to this stupidity, and so she said "Right" in a not-so-sincere manner and then rushed out of the office . . . and then Terry described with great relish how incredibly awkward I made the scene, and I guess that is because he is a big fan of Awkward Dave.

5 comments:

zman said...

You should have offered her a banana. Potassium, etc.

Dave said...

way too phallic for that scene . . .

Clarence said...

Hoping for an Awkward Dave post every day this week.

To know Dave for a long time is to have had to make many excuses and explanations for why my friend was so offensive and crude and off-kilter and off-putting. It's way more fun to read about someone else sharing that burden.

rob said...

bit of a contrarian view here. i work with a woman who was a high school friend of dave. she claims to be flabbergasted about all the stories she's heard over the years about his awkward moments, drunk and otherwise. apparently something snapped and/or clicked for dave when he matriculated in williamsburg.

Dave said...

i think i was awkward, rude, and offensive in jersey . . . but no one noticed.

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