The Potato Apostrophe Catastrophe


So last week, I thought to myself, if I were able to speak to a corporation, this is what I would say: "Hey Herr's . . . how about making the outside of your personal sized potato chip bag less slick and flashy, and instead do something useful with it, like make it more porous and corrugated-- more like the consistency of a napkin-- so that when I'm done eating your chips, I can wipe the greasy jalapeno dust off my fingers and onto the bag" but when I mentioned this genius idea to my students, they quickly saw the flaw in my plan: the bags would get incredibly dirty before they were sold . . . from the factory and the shipping and wherever they're stored, and I had to agree, as I could see someone working up a sweat, loading chips, and using one of the new "napkin bags" to wipe his brow, or blow his nose or worse . . . so this is not going to go down as one of Dave's Great Ideas, and I'd like to revise what I would say to the Herr's corporation: "Hey Herr's . . . keep up the good work on those delicious jalapeno chips!"

5 comments:

zman said...

They should make the bag in three layers: an inner layer and outer layer made of the same material they currently use, and a napkinish middle layer. The outer layer should be perforated and thus removable. This protects the napkinish layer from dirt. This will, of course, increase packaging costs by an order of magnitude, and thus run Herr's into the ground because everyone will switch to cheaper chips (insert Jamie Oliver joke). Maybe you should just take a free napkin from the deli counter when you buy your chips.

Dave said...

that's what my students said! like the boy scouts, i should be prepared (before i eat chips).

Squeaky said...

Or use your sock as a napkin.

rob said...

after what went into those socks in college? disgusting.

Dave said...

socks are useful for wiping up a variety of stuff. enough said. and you can live without them for a while.

A New Sentence Every Day, Hand Crafted from the Finest Corinthian Leather.