My Wife Is A Terrible Alcoholic

My wife is not a raging alcoholic (and I am thankful for this) but she is an awful alcoholic . . . around dinner time she often opens a beer or pours herself a glass of wine, but she always misplaces it and never finishes it; I usually find it later-- half-full-- on the counter or next to the computer . . . she apparently doesn't know that if you pour yourself some alcohol after a long day of work, then that stuff should stay glued to your hand until you finish it . . . she does the same thing with coffee in the morning: she says that she "likes the idea of having a cup of coffee" but never finds the time to sit and actually finish a mug (I usually find her coffee cup-- hours later and three quarters full-- on a book shelf or next to the TV).

5 comments:

rob said...

in much the same way, i'm a really, really terrible workaholic.

zman said...

My wife is the same way with coffee but she definitely makes sure all her booze is consumed promptly. And speaking of my wife ... I had a piece of leftover steak for lunch yesterday. Later on I picked up a steak at the butcher, forgetting that I already had red meat for lunch. At dinner my wife asked what happened to the leftover piece of steak and I said that I had it for lunch, then commented that that's a lot of red meat in one day. She replied "Well the steak at lunch was leftover so it doesn't count."

My stance on leftover tacos gains traction every day.

rob said...

your wife is dumber than you are.

no offense.

Dave said...

tell your colon that leftover red meat doesn't count.

zman said...

Yeah, Darmouth will take anyone.

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