Breaking News! Bin Laden Will Cause Baby Boom!


Mark my words, the death of Osama Bin Laden will cause a mini-baby boom in the United States . . . hearing the story of the triumphant Black Ops mission and the resultant execution of the world's most wanted terrorist will make American males feel potent, virile, and masculine . . . and there is no better patriotic expression of potency, virility, and masculinity than impregnating your wife (except perhaps shooting a hand-gun while riding a jet-ski) and though Americans surely realize this event is only a symbolic end to an abstractly defined, on-going war, they will still view the world as a safer place for children now that Bin Laden is dead; the combined aphrodisiac of military success and optimism for our country's future will lead to some groovy, unprotected love-making  . . . so can someone remind  me to check the average birth rates next February (which is generally a month with comparatively less births than other months) to see if this half-baked thesis pans out?

5 comments:

zman said...

Is your point that we don't need protection now that bin Laden is dead?

Michael said...

Baby-making powers: Activate!

Michael said...

I haven't felt the need for protection since about 1995...

Dave said...

zman, your job should be to summarize my sentence each day like that and send it out on twitter . . .

zman said...

Just what the world needs: a 140-character-or-less summary of a sentence written by someone other than the summarizer.

A New Sentence Every Day, Hand Crafted from the Finest Corinthian Leather.